Continued

    David says that women want a little fun, playful talk, romance, and non-sexual touching every day.
    (Even really tolerant, sexually interested women get sick and tired of being GROPED as the only
    contact they have with their mate.) Relaxed cuddles, hugs, and words of appreciation and respect      
    go so far and are enjoyable for both. These are the ‘little’ things that are so important to most women
    feeling safe and connected… the precursor to the Big Thing that most men want. This is one area
    where sexual differences do seem most distinct. David powerfully sums it up this way (which also
    explains the reason why men aren’t getting IT):

    Men, you know how GOOD you feel about things AFTER sex? Well, women want to feel good
    BEFORE they have sex, or often they won’t have sex at all!

    You Don’t Have the Right to Criticize Your Partner
    In my article on Positive and Negative Emotions in Marriage, four emotions are identified as predictive
    killers of relationship: Defensiveness, Stonewalling, Criticism, and Contempt. David is once again to
    the point:

    Criticism is arsenic to a relationship—eventually love dies after being chronically ill. Nothing
    gives you the right to criticize your friend unless you are ALREADY PERFECT. Get your own
    act together completely before attempting to fix any of her obvious problems. If in doubt…    
    ask HER what she thinks your problems are… and take it on board!

    There is, of course, much more covered in the book. And I don’t think we ever stop growing and
    deepening in any good, lifelong friendship. I’ve been married 21 years now. I wish I had had both     
    EFT and a mentor like David early on. Yet, if I had a saving grace, it is that I recognized and took
    responsibility for improving myself, my emotional self-management, and my awareness. I had poor   
    role models for marriage growing up, but my desire not to follow in my father’s footsteps provided  
    great impetus for change. My wife, like virtually every woman friend or client I’ve ever known, gives        
    a LOT of credit to their man who is really, really trying. These are all SKILLS, and they can be
    LEARNED… even by those of us with testosterone poisoning.

    - Rick Wilkes, Emotional Freedom Coach
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    * EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)is based on a new discovery that has provided thousands with relief from
    pain, diseases and emotional issues. Simply stated, it is an emotional version of acupuncture except needles
    aren't necessary. Instead, you stimulate well established energy meridian points on your body by tapping on
    them with your fingertips. The process is easy to memorize and is portable so you can do it anywhere. I am a
    trained EFT practitioner.


.'A Good Read'
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Glenda Gibbs, Integrative Coach

.AWhy Men Aren't Getting It